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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?